Life, and Life before ads.

I’ve been watching Life.Church messages on Youtube for the past week or so. It has been great for me. I really enjoy Craig’s delivery. All is well or seems to be in life and I’m fine with that. I’m in a good place right now.

Topic #2. Anyone remember when you could spend hours on the internet without having to close an ad every 30 seconds? I vaguely do, and I miss it. Oh well, first world problems.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Remember, you are worth it!

Hold Back the Day

Fun fact, devil drivers are the bells that witches use to dispel demons before they cast spells etc. Maybe this song will dispel some of your demons.

Hold Back The Day

Dig deep
Dig in deeper
You go where only fools
Fear to tread
You’ll find devices to kill your master
Why not kill your maker instead
Leave it to the ones that own you
Leave it to those ones to disown you
Put faith & trust in the dusk
Do what you must do

I’m getting edgy for those departed
Left all alone left still forgotten!!!!

Miles to go and
Sky’s to fly
Hold back the day
Miles to go and
Sky’s to fly
It’s darkest before the Dawn

Claw hard now
From your casket
Six feet and getting deeper
Should the top, soil feel Heavy
It must be getting weaker
Towers people build, up in life
Become frail & fall to the ground
Fuck them
There opinion
The Honest Man!!!!!!!!


Always, always, darkest before the dawn….


You are worth it.

I use this phrase a lot when I comment on posts about sobriety and life changing events. It is not something I use lightly. I truly believe that it is true. You. Are. Worth. It. How many lives would have/could have been changed by those four words. So regardless of my demons and battles that I have daily, I try to remember that, and tell others as well. It is not a catch all for me, it is a be all. You are worth it. Whatever it is, if it’s improving or adding to your life, you are worth it. It’s worth the struggle, the doubt, the heartache, the ridicule, the success, the happy, the disappointment, the living of life, existence, the mundane, the anger, the sadness, the regret. But most importantly, the happy, the accomplishments, the success, the iron will, the fuck it. Everything else can go away. Don’t give up on you or your life. It’s always darkest before the dawn. Sometimes the dawn is far away, but it always shows. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Remember, you are worth it!


Looks like I will not be moving forward in my career just yet. Although growing to despise my job at this moment, moving into a management position at the current open location would not be beneficial. I’m hoping that getting moved into a new place at the end of August will help with some of these “problems” I seem to be having. I’m wondering more and more if it’s not the alcohol, and I know that answer. But at this moment I refuse to accept it. Thankfully I’m not drinking every day again, but the thought consumes me almost constantly. Hoping for a good weekend. I might make it out to see my nephew this weekend, which is almost always a good time. I’m just really exhausted at this point. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Remember, you are worth it!

It’s a joke, It’s all a joke. (amended)

I’ve been fairly unhappy lately. I want to say I’m not sure why, but I know. I’m buried in debt, plagued by chronic pain, don’t give a shit about my job, and fighting alcohol again. Welcome to the American Dream? It’s a joke, and I’m not laughing.

Now that I got that out of the way. Things have the possibility of changing soon. There is a management position open a couple hours from home. I might finally get to see what I’m made of. I’ve been working towards this for the past 4 years. All in good time though I suppose. I will be moving regardless if I change jobs, which will be nice. I do appreciate the help I’ve received from my family, but it is time for me to get on with life.

A friend told me today that if they could give me one thing, it would be happiness. I’ve noticed most, if not all, of my thoughts on being happy start with, “I would be happy IF”. I’m going to try and start being happy just because. Wish me luck! I’m gonna need it.

Hope everyone has a good week. Whatever your doing, if it’s good for your mind, spirit, and body, keep it up. Remember, you are worth it!


Why is hard to say no? It’s just a word. Maybe it’s the fact that I’d already committed and have since backed out of the commitment. Maybe I should have said no at first. I’m tired of guilt tripping myself into helping people, only to regret it later. I guess I tripped out of helping this time. But now I feel even more guilty. Grrr, I hate most emotions. Being happy, that emotion, is the only one I like. It feels like it rarely happens though. I’m having a hard time right now. Just call me Mr. Unhappy. I’m sure I will feel better in the morning. Hope everyone has had a good week. Looking forward to the weekend.


This last week was decent. Had a few rocky days but it was nice being off work for the 4th. This weekend has been good so far. I’m going to get rested up for this coming week. I’ve got a feeling it’s going to get hot, temperatures and tempers included.

I will be moving at the beginning of August and am wondering if any one here has advice on what to keep and throw away. I’ve got too much stuff to move. There are a few sentimental things that I will take or store away safely, and then there’s a bunch of junk! Isn’t there some unstated rule about tossing something that hasn’t been used in a year?

Hope everyone has a good weekend and coming week. Looking forward to your ideas.

Remember, you are worth it!